Archive for February, 2009

And She Waits.. and waits

Nothing will ever be attempted, if all possible objections must first be overcome.”
                                                                             – Samuel Johnson

Last night was a thrilling bump. Stay up all night to recover a broken Hard-drive, using Partition M***c and dear old Linux. Successful at last; with a price of total lost of recent files.

While doing the HD restoration, a girl (my friend) sends a short message. She confess that she still wait for Mr. Bug, although he already had a girlfriend (more like fiancé because his parent already set them up for marriage). My friend said that she will wait and see how’s its going, and will never gave up. Reading that silly message of her, makes me sad and mad at the same time.

I mean: why wait? Why? While she could live her live in joyful and so much freedom. Love? Oh, please. If Mr. Bug is really serious with her, he should’ve shows that by now. But he stick to his parent’s choice (like in the 60’s). And what more sad is: He claims, in the social website, that all he have with my friend is just for fun. A joke, nothing more. He wonders why she take it so serious. Imagine that.

And she still waits. Doesn’t she have anything better to do?

Like learning Linux and stuff?

Happy Whipping Gals!

Our real duty is always found running in the direction of our worthiest desires.”
                                                                 – Randolph Bourne

Goooood morning to all! This is Afriza from the height of Egotist mountain, saying hello to all that likes to play the whip. Today I just read a confession of a woman who feels that she’s been hurt too damn much. And she says that the pain is keep coming to her again and again, so in order to relieve herself from those pain, she feels that she had to hurt herself more and more so she can feel… numb.

Eat oranges. Nadhifa, the cutest girl I’ve known,  is celebrating her birthday today. A chocolate cake and balloons and then happily blows the candle. I hope she can be someone that have the ability to protect herself from all harms of the world. To stand straight and not inflicting useless pains to herself and to people around her. To be the symbol of hope, for every goodness in life is worth patient for. Walk on!

I hear a whistle of long and lonesome train. It keep calling everybody to join and enter the path of melancholia. I had to stop that train, bought my stereo-set, and set it out loud in that train. For this is, like no other perfect time but now, the time to Dance.

Another Weakening Awoke!

The world of achievement has always belonged to the optimist.
                                                                          – J. Harold Wilkins

 

Again, rain falls on the blind morning. Everything’s wet, including my underwear. The day is sloppy, compiled with silly traffic jam, thanks God I’m not late at work.

Start with coffee, continue by listening to my friend’s babbling about his nostalgic moment when flood came to his hometown a few months back. He said that he had to make a raft out of mineral water containers and use it to go to the marketplace to buy supplies. Happy rafting bro! Seems like another flood is coming..

I brought my umbrella (without singing the umbrella song), the small one, so my shirt is still getting some splash from the rain. Everyone’s bring their umbrellas.. and not one face I look that have the spirit to sing..

Most of my friends is enjoying the day-off this Saturday, but not me.. nope, not me. I still had to go to work. So my messages’ empty, because most of my friend only get online with their company’s Compie.

Happy weekend, fellas!

I Knew Less and Less, Then I Became.. Humble

“Man’s greatest actions are performed in minor struggles. Life, misfortune, isolation, abandonment and poverty are battlefields which have their heroes – obscure heroes who are at times greater than illustrious heroes…”
                                                                                      – Victor Hugo

And this morning brought.. melodrama. There’s a girl who just can’t forget her ex-boyfriend. Wait, is it just that one girl who’s having that feeling? Aaw, never mind. Really, don’t mind at all. There’s no ‘mind’ here, only feelings. They say woman use their head less than their heart, is it true? I don’t know. Don’t presume.

Hey, back to the girl. This girl is my best friend. We’re close, we click. She, at least use to be, a funny girl. Concocting funny sentences on her Messenger status and other socio-plurk place. Then she met this boy, who happen to cheat on his girlfriend, hence: he do some tricks on her(my friend) too.

And then she found out, and then she cry. Borrowing my shoulder and all that. After listening to her story, as always, I started to give some suggestions. I analyze, which turns out to be my first mistake, her condition according to my presumption. At first she feels relieve and promise to do what I said, and so I leave her at that.

Later in the night, she sends a short-message to my mobile saying that: she’s been crying again. She thinks of him again, missing his jokes and all. She even willing to be his second harem if he ask her to. That makes me so… furious. Why? After all the counseling that I gave her, and surrender at such base level? Gees.. why?

She got mad at my reaction and says that I am not pure. Well, I’m no saint but to be called impure and stuff, I shall not take heed. So I hang up the phone and go to bed; but I just can’t sleep. Again: why? Why do I react in a fiery way, ranting my best friend as a Lo-down silly?

Few moments later something struck me straight in the back-head-nebulae: I am not pure. Like Jim Caroll, I just want to be pure, I just want to be pure…

So I backed up few steps, rearrange the corridor, and emptying my self from needs to solve a natural puzzle. For the puzzle is so natural, the answer to it is just to let it flow. No lab-work necessary. Just listen; to the breeze, to the rhythms of the clock-tickin, to addictive plot of some soap opera; listen, as she’s talking.

And if there’s something to say; to break the golden silence and to let her know that you really listen; just say: “It’s ok, it’s all ok… and I am with you, as always.. okay?”

And then go home, and enjoy soma wine, soma cigs, soma ganja cakes. Go to peaceful sleep.

The first Words that I Press, here..

“Live your life each day as you would climb a mountain. An occasional glance towards the summit keeps the goal in mind, but many beautiful scenes are to be observed from each new vantage point.”
                                                                            – Harold B. Melchart

This morning had its unique new chapter. A new blog, new spirit, new drops of rain. Yes, it’s raining again in my hometown, Citeureup. The J-Town is already flooded on some area. They say we send the water down to them rivers, houses, and illegitimate spouses. I just like to say: hold on to your umbrella, guys! Use protection.

The working condition in my office almost the same as the recent climate; wet, dark, cloudy, and weakening. There’s a Delphi program that the Marketing Manager ask me to check. Brrrgh..! I hate drowning my self in others source-code. It’s curly, more curly then them chinamen’s noodle.

At home, I just install Linux-Mint on my secondary hard-drive. It kind of sloppy at first, because the used HD had some few bad blocks here and there, but then it’s going fine… well, at least until I’m going through the shutdown process.. it takes too long of time and finally I had to turn the PC off by pressing the power button for 20 seconds or so. Kind of reminds me of the heydays of my IBM-XT.

All and all, good morrow to all.