I Knew Less and Less, Then I Became.. Humble

“Man’s greatest actions are performed in minor struggles. Life, misfortune, isolation, abandonment and poverty are battlefields which have their heroes – obscure heroes who are at times greater than illustrious heroes…”
                                                                                      – Victor Hugo

And this morning brought.. melodrama. There’s a girl who just can’t forget her ex-boyfriend. Wait, is it just that one girl who’s having that feeling? Aaw, never mind. Really, don’t mind at all. There’s no ‘mind’ here, only feelings. They say woman use their head less than their heart, is it true? I don’t know. Don’t presume.

Hey, back to the girl. This girl is my best friend. We’re close, we click. She, at least use to be, a funny girl. Concocting funny sentences on her Messenger status and other socio-plurk place. Then she met this boy, who happen to cheat on his girlfriend, hence: he do some tricks on her(my friend) too.

And then she found out, and then she cry. Borrowing my shoulder and all that. After listening to her story, as always, I started to give some suggestions. I analyze, which turns out to be my first mistake, her condition according to my presumption. At first she feels relieve and promise to do what I said, and so I leave her at that.

Later in the night, she sends a short-message to my mobile saying that: she’s been crying again. She thinks of him again, missing his jokes and all. She even willing to be his second harem if he ask her to. That makes me so… furious. Why? After all the counseling that I gave her, and surrender at such base level? Gees.. why?

She got mad at my reaction and says that I am not pure. Well, I’m no saint but to be called impure and stuff, I shall not take heed. So I hang up the phone and go to bed; but I just can’t sleep. Again: why? Why do I react in a fiery way, ranting my best friend as a Lo-down silly?

Few moments later something struck me straight in the back-head-nebulae: I am not pure. Like Jim Caroll, I just want to be pure, I just want to be pure…

So I backed up few steps, rearrange the corridor, and emptying my self from needs to solve a natural puzzle. For the puzzle is so natural, the answer to it is just to let it flow. No lab-work necessary. Just listen; to the breeze, to the rhythms of the clock-tickin, to addictive plot of some soap opera; listen, as she’s talking.

And if there’s something to say; to break the golden silence and to let her know that you really listen; just say: “It’s ok, it’s all ok… and I am with you, as always.. okay?”

And then go home, and enjoy soma wine, soma cigs, soma ganja cakes. Go to peaceful sleep.


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